So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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