What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Randomize