Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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