I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Randomize
