I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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