sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Randomize
