did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
