is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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