Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Sext me about skeletons
Randomize