I love black thongs
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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