i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
i already hear my dad disowning me
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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