so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
