that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
