Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
