we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
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