your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
it glows. i had to have it.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
