Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
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