Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Randomize
