wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
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