I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize
