I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
