forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
You can't just leave with hair like that
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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