Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Randomize
