i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
