He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
honey bunches of taint.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
