The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
