im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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