I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
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