atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
