You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
My apartment stinks of burning failure
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize