yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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