They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
