Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
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