next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
