the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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