You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
