Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
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