i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
we're making bets on your personal life
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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