Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize