hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
