Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Randomize
