i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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