is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
