Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
We were destined to go to rehab together
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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