just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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