I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Randomize
