Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
