bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Small penises have feelings too.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize