I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
