I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
