The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
