Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
