i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Randomize
