You were right. It hurts to walk today.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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