it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize