I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
bring money and cleavage
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
