I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Randomize