First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
