So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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