i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize
