White coat. Heels.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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