I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Sorry my hands just texted you
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Randomize
