Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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