batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
