At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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