YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
